Fate & Destiny

“I haven't seen too many [dreamers] around lately. Things have been tough lately for dreamers. They say dreaming is dead, no one does it anymore. It's not dead it's just that it's been forgotten, removed from our language. Nobody teaches it so nobody knows it exists. The dreamer is banished to obscurity. Well, I'm trying to change all that, and I hope you are too. By dreaming, every day. Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds. Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced, ever. So whatever you do, don't be bored, this is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive. And things are just starting” – Man on the Train, Waking Life

It’s been a good month for following your dreams. My years of studying Chinese are finally reaching the possibility of real-world fruition, as I got into my dream school in a situation where the odds of admission were not in my favour. School reputation aside, this is what going to Schulich is about – about taking my passion and letting me build a professional life that incorporates it.

Logic actually had me on the fence for a while about whether or not to go to Schulich if I were to somehow get in, for financial and also personal reasons. The alternative was a school that was perfectly fine and very affordable. In the end what it came down to was that after 5 years, I would be doing a disservice to myself if I neglected one of the most unique parts of me that gives me so much fulfilment (and so much frustration) in life. I came dangerously close to forgetting that I’m supposed to follow my dreams and do what’s right for me, whether it’s the safer option or not. I strongly believe in the following:

“To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation.” – Paolo Coelho, The Alchemist

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” – Jean Shinoda Bolen

I believe that discovery and understanding of life comes from an intimate understanding of the self. And I think this is best pursued by doing the things your spirit pulls you to do.

Shortly after I got my good news, a very good friend of mine secured a job to fly for the United Nations in Africa, a unique opportunity to get good experience and see a part of the world most people steer clear from. There are advantages and disadvantages to both staying and going, and like always it’s harder to make a change than to maintain everyday life. But when you’re faced with an option you’ve dreamt about, I think you have to take it. For better or for worse, I don’t think you’ll find yourself wishing you hadn’t done something – I think most regrets when faced with this kind of decision are of the opposite nature: regret from a missed opportunity.

Even if fate and destiny are just superstitious nonsense, it doesn’t matter. These things give you motivation and a sense of purpose. So even if it wasn’t fate that brought me here, my sense of connection and meaning in my life events still played a large part. Whether it’s really fate is irrelevant. What’s relevant is whether you choose to have a sense of purpose and wonder in life.

This whole process is far from over; technically I'm not anywhere yet. But I'm beginning at the point I hoped I would, and I’ve never been more excited in my life.

Update

It’s been quite a while since I last posted. An easy excuse is that I can’t access Blogspot from China, but in the end there’s ways around that. The real reason for my writer’s block lately has been the strange state of purgatory in my life over the last month or so. Or rather, not so much writer’s block as an unwillingness to put out my thoughts when I’m not sure about how I feel about the world. This blog is largely based on my views on the world, and I had a strong feeling that whether or not I got into my dream school would have an effect on those views - evidently it did. I’m hesitant to write about myself and universe when I’m waiting on a dream to be fulfilled or crushed.

With the waiting behind me, I’m ready to begin thinking and writing again.

Strands of Life

Being in China and studying the language has exposed me, often indirectly, to some of the more Eastern ways of thinking. One way that has been on my mind lately is the idea of life as a strand.

In Chinese, there are these things called “measure words” that you use with objects, and although they are used when you want to quantify an object, they also give hints as to the nature of the object. The closest thing we have in English is examples like “a pride of lions”, pride being sort of like a measure word. Except in Chinese, there are a lot of measure words for all types of objects, both singular and plural: ones for flat objects, ones for groups of objects, and ones for long, flowing objects.

The measure word for long, flowing objects (条, pronounced tiáo) such as fish, rivers, skirts, and rope is also used for life. The feeling I get when I say 一条命, or “a life”, is that life here is seen as a strand.

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense, especially in Eastern culture. The ultimate matchmaker in Chinese legend is the old man who lives in the moon, deciding peoples’ fates by tying together our strands of life. Each of his hands grabs a single string which represents a human life, and when he ties these two strings together, these lives are forever bound. The idea here is that fate is decided by whose life strand yours is tied to; you are destined to be with that person because your strands of life have become one.

A more interesting example came from the professor of my Chinese Religions class here, who enjoys a good off-topic rant every once in a while (and sometimes even a good on-topic one). A few weeks ago he was giving us the basics of Chinese Buddhism (distinct from Lama Buddhism and the other type which is prevalent in India, Thailand, etc), and got much deeper into it than he had originally intended. Buddhism, which teaches one to walk a certain winding path in life, has a very interesting view on human relationships. According to our professor, human lives are seen as points on a network of life strands (think of it like a regular 2-dimensional graph). Each person is an intersection on that graph, so we can actually share life strands with some people while differing on the other strand. This more complex idea of life makes sense to me, in that we can be close to a multitude of people with which we share the X-axis or the Y-axis. Alternatively, I think we can be close to people who are off our axes but are nevertheless just a few points over.

Whether or not our lives are strands, the kind of thinking you can get into with the strand analogy is certainly interesting. One way or another, I think that people are connected in some very intimate ways that go beyond what can be seen, like the examples above. Another good example is the concept of Ubuntu, not an Eastern concept but relevant nonetheless.

"Ubuntu is very difficult to render into a Western language... It is to say, 'My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in what is yours.'" - Desmond Tutu

Take it or Leave it

It’s coming to a point in life now where I have somewhat of a “take it or leave it” attitude towards people. The essential characteristics of my personality, which solidified somewhere in late high school, have become the underlying foundation of who I am. This is the case for many people; a permanence of self may still elude some, but I suspect that for the majority, somewhere in your late teens or early twenties your inner identity tends to solidify to some degree. This is not to say that a person stops developing – far from it – but that one forms a base from which to pursue further development and learning.

“Up to a point a man's life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, ‘This I am today; that I will be tomorrow.’” ~ Louis L'Amour

And so for many of us, we find ourselves as young adults, able to roughly but firmly say “this is who I am.” The game becomes different from high school (or even university for some), where one’s surroundings often dictated a seemingly necessary change, making personality or identity compromises in order to operate or thrive socially. With this stage behind most of us, life is now about trying to surround yourself with people that you connect with and genuinely enjoy, and it’s also about finding a pursuit in life that will fulfill this self that you have become.

It may sound cynical, but once one reaches this point I think that a “take it or leave it” attitude can begin to develop; at the very least this has been true in my case. It’s not something bitter or rejecting, but rather a pragmatic realization that people who do not connect with me are not worth my time (and to be honest I’m not worth theirs either). Life is simply too short to be spent in a vain effort to deceive others enough to make them like you. Because sooner or later the real you reveals itself, whether you like it or not.

As negative as it may sound, I think of this as an exhilarating way to live life. If you’re really putting yourself (and I really mean your self) out there, the people that stick around are going to be worth your time and then some. This is when you will discover real human moments, when people are actually expressing themselves in a genuine way to each other. It’s easy to forget how special and unique this kind of communication is until you realize how different it is from everyday interaction. The relationships that yield these kinds of moments are the ones worth cultivating. I think most people have experienced this to some degree, as larger social groups from high school and college fraction off and become tighter.

I think the pros of living life like this outweigh the con of having to occasionally admit that a relationship or friendship just isn’t going to work. If you need to act like someone else around a person in order to make things work out or gain their acceptance, there is something wrong going on; this isn’t high school any more. Be yourself, do what interests you, and I believe that you will gravitate towards the kinds of people that will really connect with you (and vice versa).

This is not a matter of burning bridges, but rather one of realizing that there are gaps too large to build across, and of maintaining the relics that have stood the test of time.

Teleportation

About a year ago I was having a conversation with a friend about teleportation. I've done some more thinking on it since then. Here’s the conundrum:

Let’s assume that, sometime in the future, teleportation technology exists. The way it works is by taking the exact arrangement of atoms and molecules in your body at Location A, and moving them instantly (and separately) to Location B, where they are arranged in exactly the same way as they were originally. Alternatively, we can also imagine a different method: a computer or some device reads the exact atomic layout of your body at Location A, records it, and essentially removes/destroys it, and in Location B, new atoms are arranged in the exact arrangement that was recorded, recreating your body.

What I find most interesting is the 2nd method of teleportation, but I think they’re more or less the same, since I am basically dead at the moment have been broken down into my constituent atoms. Either way, Jeff at Location A is essentially killed, and recreated at Location B. But presumably everything goes with me, such as my memories and mental states, as they are physical things consisting of neural connections and chemical changes. The new Jeff at Location B is, for all intents and purposes, the exact same Jeff as before. I was destroyed and created anew, exactly the same. Same appearance down to the last atom, same memories, same temperament, same brain. Everything is biologically, physically, and mentally the same, since every muscle and neuron and atom is in the same place as before. What I wonder is this: is the Jeff at Location B a new person or the same one?

To me, it seems to be a new person. But for all intents and purposes, in relation to the world, it’s not. The new Jeff would act the same as me, and his first moment of life would contain all the memories of the Jeff that had just died, except that after the first moment of consciousness at Location B, he’d look around and think: “wow, the teleportation worked!” To all other people, I’d be the same old guy. The ONLY place that this seems to be a problem with the old Jeff – you just killed him. I find this particularly interesting, because the teleportation system would appear to work, even though you’re essentially killing people and making copied new ones. The new ones would believe it works too, because as far as they know, it does.

But is it a new person? Here’s where the cognition comes in. Who’s behind the steering wheel in the new Jeff? Old Jeff was just dismantled, but everything was recreated to the last exact detail. The only thing that bugs me about this whole thing is the spark, the life force, whatever you want to call it.

I don’t have a resolute opinion on this yet, but I wanted to get my thoughts down and maybe hear what other people think about it. Is the Jeff at Location B the same Jeff, or is he a new Jeff that is exactly the same as the old one? And if he’s new but exactly the same, is there anything fishy here in terms of the mind or (possibly more importantly) the spirit?

I think what this comes down to is personal beliefs about the origins and nature of consciousness and the mind. My belief system has trouble with accommodating the notion that there’s nothing more to us than well-placed molecules. At the same time, I’m enough of a believer in science that I have a feeling it would work.

The scary thing is that if you’re killing someone and making an exact copy, for all intents and purposes it doesn’t seem to matter. This isn’t a Bizzarro Jeff (who speaks Portugese), it’s the exact same one. But make no mistake – the old Jeff was killed, regardless of which process was used. I only wish I knew what various religions would have to say about it.

Networks

The concept of the network is something that I believe to be fundamental in the human psyche. Similar to other primates as well as dogs and any other “pack” animal, human beings are social creatures. As social creatures, our lives are lived within a network of relationships that is often embedded in a larger network, or community. This is a basic fact of human life, and as such I think we’re finely attuned to the importance and intricacies of a network. Before the internet, phones and Morse code, humans had long experienced the idea of interconnectedness in the physical world through paths, roads and waterways that interconnected and allowed trade. But networks play a much more intimate role in our personal and professional lives.

Living life as a human being is life within a network: a network of people, friends, groups, associations, companies, nations, and so on. The way you operate inside that network has a large effect on your success in life and your position within the community or society in which you live. This is not something complex but rather quite basic, as dogs, lions and monkeys all operate in similar systems. The means by which one acquires higher position or gains opportunity within their community may be different, but in the end the idea is the same in that we’re all helping, competing, and interacting with each other while trying to raise our own status.

“Networking” is now a verb, often used to describe the process where people are actively trying improve or gain new relationships with people who can help them get ahead. This is similar to the Chinese concept of 关系 (pronounced guānxi), which means “relation” among other things, but is also commonly used to describe how people “work” relationships for their own benefit. To me in particular, there’s always been something dirty behind the idea of networking for networking’s sake. It seems so false. However, I have stopped being baffled when I find out that success in certain areas of life are ruled by networking ability; this is not something isolated to the world of business.

The idea behind my entry today is this: no matter what you do in life, from academia to flying a plane to public service, your ability to operate within your social networks will be a significant predictor of success in your endeavours. I’m not discounting the value of intelligence or ability, but I do believe that networking can be almost as important, if not equally so.

At first, the thought is almost insulting – shouldn’t ability rise to the top? Mark is having strings pulled for him so that he gets the job over John, who is a bit smarter. Initial acceptance of this “real world truth” is disheartening and sometimes infuriating. Whatever happened to an even playing field?

I’m coming to the realization of how essential networks are to human life, from the interconnected neurons inside our brains to the way we interact with friends and coworkers. We drive down roads that cross other roads every block, ride down rivers that merge with others and lead to lakes and seas, and today the world is developing based on a communicational tool that is constantly creating new types of networks for us to be a part of (hint: *STOP* it’s not Morse code! *STOP*). With this in mind, I am finding it easier to come to terms with the reality that your relationships will affect your success, for these too are roads that will take you places. Ability doesn’t always win out, because we tend to think of ability as a technical skill or academic knowledge. But if Mark can make people think “this guy is really something” when he engages them personally, is that not ability?

What I’m getting at is that networking doesn’t necessarily have to have those false, dirty connotations. It’s an extension of the most fundamental way of succeeding as a social creature. We all do our share of networking in life, whether it’s casual chatting or wine & cheese with the partners of your firm. I don’t think I can condemn something that is such a basic part of human life.

I’m about to enter a stage of my life where networking will be essential. My future schmoozing technique – have a drink, listen, and be friendly. Worst case scenario: occupy some real estate near the cheese table and get started on the Gouda.

Finding Your Own Meaning: Water

“This is a beautiful river,” he said to his companion. “Yes,” said the ferryman, “a very beautiful river, I love it more than anything. Often I have listened to it, often I have looked into its eyes, and always I have learned from it. Much can be learned from a river.” – Siddhartha

If you pay attention to the world around you and let your mind wander, sometimes you will stumble upon gems of wisdom from inanimate objects. Like the rest of my scribbles on finding your own meaning, what’s important here is that you’re doing the mental work. A rock is just a rock, but it can also be a reminder of resoluteness when you need it most. Life lessons can be learned if you’re willing to look for them. But I think the best example of an inanimate thing that carries life lessons is water; quite appropriate for the source of all life.

The characteristics of water hold secrets to conflict resolution both personal and physical in nature.

“Be like water, making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves… Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup… Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee was talking about not just martial arts, but conflict in general; how to adapt and conquer an enemy, whether it is a person, a life situation, or yourself. The always changing, always moving nature of water allows it to adapt to the situation, just as people often need to. It adapts to shape, and if there’s a way to get from the source to where it’s going, the trickles will make their way. This kind of water-like absolute adaptation is something that makes human beings such an incredible race (the people living both on the equator and in Sibera are a testament to this), but on the personal level I think the ability to accommodate change is a key to personal growth.

Water is a symbol for the strength of unity. It can crash and destroy with immense power, or can wear down mountains over eons of erosion. But one way or another, although a drop of water is only a drop of water, our Earth was carved by these drops; at the same time, each and every ounce of water has contributed.

One of my favourite books, Siddhartha, has some beautiful things to say about water. After a life of both faith and of disbelief, of pain and of pleasure, Siddhartha has a spiritual reawakening while gazing into a river. The later years of his life are spent by the river, where he gains new perspectives on time and the universe:

“The river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth...in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere, and the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past, nor the shadow of the future...Siddhartha the boy, Siddhartha the mature man and Siddhartha the old man [are] only separated by shadows, not through reality... Nothing was, nothing will be, everything has reality and presence.”

“But out of all secrets of the river, he today only saw one, this one touched his soul. He saw: this water ran and ran, incessantly it ran, and was nevertheless always there, was always and at all times the same and yet new in every moment!”

Although it’s a very spiritual fiction novel, I don’t think that Siddhartha’s life lessons are fabricated or unrealistic. He was a man who dropped everything, willing to learn and seek meaning in his life. In this way, I think his observant, contemplative nature made him ready for the lessons the river offers to all who cross it. That’s the key: the lessons are there if you’re ready for them.